Welcoming a Foster Child into Your Home: What to Expect on the First Day

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 What to Expect on the First Day


    Becoming a foster parent is a compassionate and selfless decision that can change a child's life for the better.  EL4Kids wants you to know that the first day you welcome a foster child into your home is a crucial moment, filled with emotions, anticipation, and a mix of excitement and nervousness. At EL4Kids, we understand the importance of making this transition as smooth as possible for both you and the child. In this blog, we'll guide you through what to expect on that first day. 


Preparing Your Home-Part 1.  


Before the child arrives, it's essential to ensure that your home is ready to welcome them. This means making the space safe, comfortable, and inviting. Here are some steps to consider: 


Childproofing: For the home study, this would have been checked, however, if some time has passed, ensure that your home is childproofed, especially if you have younger children already living with you. Secure cabinets, cover electrical outlets and remove any hazards. 


Bedroom Setup: Create a welcoming and comfortable space for the foster child in their bedroom. Make sure they have a bed with clean sheets, some toys or books, and space for their belongings. They will be able to stay organized with the addition of baskets for laundry, empty drawers, a basket on the dresser to keep special small items separate from other children's items, and a basket available for their toiletries to keep it all together to keep the bathroom tidy.  


Welcome Basket: Consider putting together a welcome basket with some essentials and comforting items like stuffed animals, blankets, and toiletries. 


The First Meeting 


The first meeting between you and the foster child is a crucial moment. It sets the tone for the days ahead. Here are some tips for making it a positive experience: 


Be Patient: Understand that the child may be feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Give them space and time to adjust. Let them approach you at their own pace. Make time for them. A busy parent isn't a welcoming parent. Phone and screen use is a wall-up between children and parents. We suggest to schedule these screen times in a private place for a while. 


Offer a Warm Welcome: Smile, introduce yourself, and offer a warm hug or handshake, depending on the child's comfort level. Let them know you had thought about them every day and looked forward to seeing them. Tell them you grew fond of them while thinking of them. Later, this can, when said with a smile, eye to eye, transition into, "You know...Remember? I grew fond of you just thinking about you before you arrived. Who knew that I would fall in love!"  It is likely that no one has ever told them that they looked forward to seeing them. Love is tricky in their world. Love hurts. Your attention to details like this will change the atmosphere and their heart towards you and their circumstances.  


Engage in Conversation: Ask open-ended questions about their interests, hobbies, and preferences. This can help build a connection and make them feel valued. However, don't bombard them with too many questions. Read their body language and realize questions can wait till they are ready. 


Respect Boundaries: Be mindful of the child's boundaries and personal space. Respect their privacy and encourage open communication. 


Watch the "Instant Family" movie before the children arrive at your home. You will not regret this step: Instant Family Movie


The Routine 


Structure and routine can provide a sense of security for foster children. Here's what you can do: 


Establish a Schedule: Set up a daily routine that includes meal times, bedtimes, and activities. Predictability can help reduce anxiety. Consider posting the routine in each room.  


Encourage with positive affirmations as you see the children doing anything exhibiting good character or following instructions. Tell them what you see in them. They will do more of what you notice and point out. They also will do more of what you chastise them for as they desire attention of any kind... So limit and pick your battles. Disrespect and danger are battles you want to pick. Consider Time In and Not Time out: Time out vs Time in for a chance to build emotion-regulation skills.


Meal Preparation: Consider dietary preferences and any allergies the child may have. Meal planning can be a bonding activity. Be excited about the things you do together, whether they are or not. You are setting the stage for positive change. 


Activities: Plan age-appropriate activities to keep the child engaged and help them settle in. These could include arts and crafts, board games, or outdoor play. 


Emotional Support 


Emotions can run high on the first day. Foster children have experienced trauma or loss, making it essential to offer emotional support: 


Be Attentive: Pay attention to the child's emotional cues. They may need someone to talk to for advice or simply a listening ear. I advise you to do less talking and more listening. 


Validation: Validate their feelings and reassure them that it's okay to have a range of emotions. Research here to plan ways to respond to their feelings: 10 Tips on Connecting


Professional Help: I assure you that you will not know everything and when in doubt, seek help out... seek guidance from professionals or counselors who specialize in working with foster children. You were given resources based on your local area of the support in place. Trust me in this. If you seek help, 1. You won't feel alone and reduces your stress. 2. You will be armed with new ideas and feel empowered. This is hard but with help, it is much easier. 3. Do this sooner than later. In this, I mean even before you receive the children. Make the connection and get to know them. This is why they are there. You make their day to show up and ask questions. Don't be at all shy or feel like you are supposed to know everything. Your foster/adoption counselor is valuable as well as your GAL/CASA. EL4Kids provides a great and effective tool in the form of a book that advocates, parents and other volunteers use to get great conversations started. Freddy the Foster Frog Finds a Friendly Family can be found here on Amazon: 


 Freddy the Foster Frog Finds a Friendly Family



Documentation 


  • Keep thorough records of the child's arrival, including medical information, emergency contacts, and any instructions provided by the child welfare agency. 


  • The first day you receive a foster child into your home is a memorable and impactful moment. It's a time to provide love, support, and stability to a child who may have experienced uncertainty in their life. By being prepared, patient, and compassionate, you can make this transition a positive and transformative experience for both you and the child. Remember that every child is unique, and their needs may vary. Flexibility, empathy, and a willingness to learn and grow together will be your greatest assets as a foster parent. Thank you for opening your heart and home to a child in need. Your commitment to their well-being is truly inspiring.








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