Nurturing Resilience:

The Transformative Approach of Noticing and Wondering for Foster and Adoptive Parents, and Educators

In the dynamic world of fostering, adopting, and educating children who have experienced trauma, a pioneering technique is emerging. Backed by research challenging traditional authoritative methods and questioning the overrated nature of praise, the simple yet impactful phrase "I noticed..." offers a statistically significant alternative, promoting positive behavior in children dealing with trauma and those in regular circumstances alike.

Research suggests that praise, often seen as a cornerstone in parenting, might be overrated. For children who have experienced trauma, excessive praise could unintentionally contribute to dependency on external validation, hindering the development of intrinsic motivation. Enter the science of noticing – a practice that goes beyond generic praise, providing specific and meaningful feedback on observed positive behaviors, which can be particularly beneficial for children on the journey to healing.

Studies reveal that acknowledging and expressing observations of positive actions, such as "I noticed that you handled that situation with patience" or "I noticed your kindness toward your classmate," can have a profound impact on a child's self-esteem, regardless of their past experiences. This approach challenges traditional, authority-centric parenting methods and promotes a collaborative and emotionally connected approach.

"I wonder..." introduces an element of curiosity to caregiving and education, which can be particularly effective in fostering a sense of safety for children who have experienced trauma. Research indicates that incorporating this phrase when making suggestions fosters a collaborative atmosphere, essential for building trust and resilience.

Celebrating small and simple moments is a research-backed practice that transcends circumstances. Studies emphasize that children, especially those who have faced trauma, benefit significantly from specific and genuine positive reinforcement. This approach contributes to the development of prosocial behaviors and higher emotional intelligence.

Embracing the power of noticing and wondering becomes a strategic choice for foster and adoptive parents, as well as educators, challenging the overuse of praise and offering a science-backed alternative. Integrating evidence-based practices into the support of children, regardless of their background, can lead to more statistically significant outcomes.

 Try incorporating the technique of noticing and wondering into your daily interactions and witness how it transforms behavior, contributing to the overall resilience and well-being of the children in your care. #fosterparents #adoptiveparents #educators #traumainformedcare #resiliencebuilding

EL4Kids.org